Hello!
Well, I will start from the beginning.
Five years ago, I came face to face with a bright blonde, scrawny, energetic boy with large blue eyes, a happy smile, and a naturally innocent-looking face. His name, which I will change, was Drew. His personality was like his smile: exuberant and outgoing. What girl, even I at age 9, wouldn’t crush on him’ Of course, I didn’t know what a real crush was back then, but I loved day dreaming about the guy. He was only a few months older than me.
Now, five years later, he is a lot of the same guy. Still innocent, still beautiful, still charming and outgoing’and yet, there is something about him that is even more obssessive-worthy than when we were nine. He’s fifteen now and I’m fourteen, turning fifteen this September.
I had prayed for years that I would get to know him, and recently God granted me my wish. He and I share a passion for writing, and we, coincidently and to my pure happiness, joined a writing class that a fellow homeschooled family was teaching and hosting. The writing class will end in June, something I am dreading.
He’s a great piano player. Amazing. He writes his own songs and musicals because he doesn’t like the songs his piano teacher wants him to play. He’s stubborn, something else we have in common. He’s a very strong Christian’his dad’s a pastor. I have a very private and personal faith in God, one that I am just learning how to explore. We’re both homeschooled. He has eight siblings, I have one, a sister. He’s very popular, whereas I have only a small circle of close friends and a few acquaintances. He loves to read, like me. We do talk every so often, which I find epic, because it gives me an innocent reason to look at him’and look into his eyes.
The thing is…I don’t think I should tell him I like him. I would absolutely LOVE to get to know him. I’m not possessive or obsessed with him, and yet I can’t help thinking about him and getting jealous whenever I hear about him and this other girl, Tanya, being paired up in play practice. I don’t act in our homeschool plays, but he does. He’s a great actor. So in Tanya. There have been rumors that they like each other, and I am always sad and secretly a little hurt and discouraged whenever I hear about them. She’s…drop-dead gorgeous, no joke. She’s a beauty. I’m not ugly, and I have been told I’m pretty, but comparred to Tanya…I often feel like I’m nothing. She’s driven, smart, quiet and yet outgoing, and she seems to be a lot of what you would Drew’s counterpart would be. She’s older than him (by a few months) and very talented. I think he looks up to her like I look up to him.
What should I do’ Should I try to become better friends with him’ I would email him, but that’s not his favorite form of communication. He likes to talk in person, and I currently see him three times a week. But next week I will start seeing him only twice, and in a few weeks, I will only see him once a week. I really want to talk to him! He’s so special and kind…it breaks my heart that I don’t know him better.
Thank you so much for any helpful and kind advice! It means a lot!
Best of luck and wishes,
~Sinister Angel