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So this is weird for me to ask so publicly, but I have been thinking about it and would like to have an outside opinion or five haha..

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years, but up until December we lived across the country from eachother. He visited the first time last summer for a few days, then I visited him for a week in November, then I spur of the moment kind of decided to move and he and I have been living together since.
He is 20 and was living with his parents until we got a place in Dec. I am 18 and was still in High school but finished my 2 remaining credits with an online program and am still getting my diploma (I am done now)

The thing is, I love him SO much. And he loves me so much, too. And we get along really well and have a lot of the same interests (games and shows, etc) He is easy going and the nicest guy I have ever known.
But- I did not realize how different we are at the same time, until I moved here.

He is… Erm. Lazy. For a lack of a better way to put it. He works at factory job grinding pipe 10 hours a day and is okay with it. He wasn’t when he started last May, but as time went on he has come accustomed to it. Pretty much, I moved across the country to live with him because he wouldn’t move there. I have free community college lined up there (scholarships/grants), but I dont want to live without him. He also doesn’t want me to. He says he will pay for my college here, but honestly with our $$ situation I dont see how that will happen.

On top of that, I have always dreamed of traveling and trying to make a difference. I wanted to backpack and join the peace corps and stuff like that.. He is so nice and easy going I always thought we would do it together. BUT as I said- he is super content here how things are. He doesn’t want to go AT ALL. He says “I want to vacation and see places but I dont want to live there.. I want to have a home”

I try to explain that home is where the heart is, not a place. There is so much world for us to see and we only live once. How can he want to live in his yard his whole life and never venture into the city, so to speak’

I have found a bunch of programs like WWOOF where we can travel for relative free, and the peace corp is free, etc. A lot of the programs even pay you (albeit a small amount, but we don’t need much)!

He is very into his laptop and TV and all the typical American luxuries and has no desire to leave.

I dont know what to do. I don’t want to leave him, I cannot even imagine living without him. He has been my boyfriend since 7th grade and we ALWAYS have spoken a lot. The longest amount of time were we were not always texting, calling, or IMing was in 11th grade when I spent 6 months abroad. I was meant to be gone 12 but came home early out of fear that our relationship was becoming nonexistent…
I regret having left now, though for a long time I didn’t because I had been homesick and got to talk to my love again.

But here, I am making LIFE choices and I am afraid I am messing up… Should I move back and go to college for free’ Should I go into the Peace Corp or something similair’ Should I stay here and work / try to go to college this fall’
And if I do one of the first two options should I break up with him or stay together while we do it’

I am so lost and don’t know what to do :/ The thing about doing the other two without leaving him is that I know how I will feel – just like when I went abroad and even when we just lived so dang far away. I will be obsessed with him and miss him and want to come back to him. WHAT should I do’

Posted on Jan 28, 2012 in Homeschools - Tags: