I am a freshman in college and this is a junior in a fraternity (phi psi), Stan. I think he had a girlfriend from his hometown for about 2 years (she goes to a different college than us), but they broke up before this school year started. I had briefly met Stan a couple times before, and he would try to talk to me a lot, but it just kind of went over my head. He told my friend/hall mate, Emmett (whose older brother lives with Stan), that he thought I was attractive. So when I told Emmett that I wanted to meet a guy, he immediately thought of Stan. Emmett took me and some friends to Stan’s [not frat] house one night when we were already out and emphasized me to him. Stan lives on the top floor, and there were only about 6 people there, but there was alcohol, the lights were off, and the music was on. Stan didn’t seem ‘drunk’, but I’m sure he had been drinking.

Stan kept looking at me and trying to be around me, and eventually he sat next to me on the couch and asked me about myself. Then when I was dancing with my 2 girlfriends, he took my hand and pulled me to him. I didn’t know what to do, so I hugged him back then got in front of him to do the grind dance thing. He just touched my stomach and hugged me, nothing wildly inappropriate. Then he turned me around for front dancing and asked if I was smiling because I was into him. I teasingly scrunched up my nose and asked why he was smiling, and he said because he was with the hottest girl in the room. He asked if I wanted to take this somewhere private. I said sure, which I guess sounded uncertain because he said ‘no I don’t want sure, don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with.’

When we got to his room I sat on his bed and said I was really drunk (this isn’t really true), and he said so was he. He asked to kiss me, so I leaned in (my first kiss, but he has no idea). Then he lied on the bed and I kissed him. Then he got on top and kissed my lips, neck, and shoulders. When he started putting his hand up my shirt I said I didn’t want to have sex. He took his hand out and said ‘that’s ok, you don’t have to”but, well what are the limits then” I didn’t know what to say so he asked if the shirt was coming off and I took it off. He continued and kissed my stomach too, then tried slipping down one side of my bra. He didn’t touch anything though, just kept kissing my stomach. I didn’t say anything but I was uncomfortable, so I was covering my forehead and part of my eye with my forearm. When he looked up at me he said, ‘Are you too drunk for this’ Yes, you’re too drunk’ and stopped, saying he didn’t like taking advantage of drunk girls. But he asked if he could bully me into getting my number, then he just put his arm around me and we talked on his bed (he didn’t want to leave and see our friends after such a short time and have to explain to them that it didn’t work out). I asked him about himself, and he asked me about myself. He asked if I knew his name, and I said it, but in a questionable way, so he said ‘what was that’!’ I laughed and said ‘oh that’s bad’ and he said ‘it’s college.’

He said I could crash there and have breakfast with ‘us’ (him and his housemates) if I wanted, but I said ‘no that’s ok, I think I just want to go home.’ When Emmett texted Stan that he was leaving, Stan offered his hand to help me off the bed. Before we left the room, he looked at me and said I should text him sometime. I sort of half nodded. While me and my friends were getting ready to leave I overheard him complimenting me to one of my girlfriends, Mary (I think he said I was really cool or something). I hugged him good bye, and he followed us to the door and told my friend to make sure ‘her friends got home safe.’

Four days later I texted him ‘Hey there! What’s Stan up to” and 40 minutes later he responded, ‘In the library. Shoot me now.’ I did NOT respond, and he never tried to text me again. I passed him on campus about a week later and he was smiling, but I didn’t see him until it was too late and sort of did a double take. We awkwardly passed each other. I went with Emmett and our friends back to Stan’s house a couple weekend nights later (I really didn’t know they would be going there). This time, Stan WAS really drunk, so much so that he later passed out and probably doesn’t really remember this encounter. He was sitting on his couch, but he said hi to me sort of excitedly when he saw me and reached for a hug. I hugged him then sat next to another guy. But I moved to sit next to Stan pretty quickly. We were just sitting shoulder to shoulder, no kissing or cuddling because I don’t think either of us knew where we stood.
The guy I was originally sitting next to, John, told me he thought I was pretty, and Stan asked if he liked me and what I thought of him. Stan told me that John had told kids in phi psi during rush that he ‘gets a lot of p****’ and acted really strange. Then Stan asked me what I did that night, and when he got up to get more alcohol he said ‘you’re not gonna leave, right” and quickly touched my knee as he was getting up. When he got back I was in the bathroom, but when I got out I sat next to Mary and he moved from where he was sitting to sit next to me. Stan complimented my shoes and remembered I wore them last time. He showed me that his hat had my hometown on it, and he showed me a video of his mom to show me how long her hair was. I leaned to talk to another guy that probably likes me a couple times, and when I sat back up to talk to Stan it was always sort of awkward.
This guy kept coming over to us and even hugged me, and Stan would just sit there silently. But Stan was also comforting Mary because her boyfriend, Emmett, was talking to another girl. Stan asked me what was going on with Emmett and Mary and told me apparently Mary walked him home the other night from a concert, but he doesn’t remember it because he was drunk. I said sure about something again and Stan said ‘nooo, no saying sure again.’ Mary jokingly said she would rather grind with me than John, and Stan said so would he. I jumped up to leave when my friends left to get pizza. He yelled after us to get him some, and I said he should come with us, but he just stared at us (too drunk/late’), and then he passed out on his couch. That was the last time I saw him in person. A couple weeks later I facebook friend requested him, and he accepted. Then about a month later he added pictures with a girl that was leaning up against him.
The pictures also showed them dancing (grinding), and he had his arm around her in one of the pictures. I don’t think they ever seriously dated, but what do I know. A lot of his recent pictures are with sorority girls. A couple weeks after that my friends jokingly changed my relationship status to ‘in a relationship,’ so he probably thought I had a boyfriend. I took it off 2 weeks later so that my profile doesn’t show my relationship status at all (like it always has been). Now it has been 3 months since the initial encounter, without contact. Did I not show enough interest initially, or would he have tried harder if he were interested’ I want to date him, but I’m not sure if he wants/wanted to date me. My question is, what went wrong’